There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
