we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize