You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
