dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
