I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
