I accidentally had phone sex last night
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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