I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
