i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
