summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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