I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize