Whoa Z and x make the same sound
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just high enough for therapy.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
