you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
