You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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