Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize