i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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