it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
