elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this will be a night to untag.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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