Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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