No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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