fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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