So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
