I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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