I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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