Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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