i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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