So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
