all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
