Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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