I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
