I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
