A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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