dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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