EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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