i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
