Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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