I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
