She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
