Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
