is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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