Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize