Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
