Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
