would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
