Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize