I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
