dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My pussy is not your playground.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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