I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
