He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
