how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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