Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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