I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize