I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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