I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
