i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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