when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
