lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
