when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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