we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
