What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
