your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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