You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
